I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
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We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
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I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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