During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
