Me too!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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