I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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