i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
