I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
