you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
