i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize