Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize