Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
