Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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