I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize