i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
