What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I need a beard to bite.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
