I feel like I'm in dance class right now
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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