People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize