absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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