week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
