please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
no, he came in my armpit
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
