I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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