She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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