you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
