got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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