She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm at about main and main street
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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