shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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