if you like me you must not know who I am
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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