I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
