If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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