Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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