just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
