Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
