I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
