That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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