i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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