In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
