Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
