Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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