So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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