I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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