hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
please come you make the beer taste better
The best revenge is premature balding
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
