My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You took a bar mat shot.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
