Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
