How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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