Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
