We're like a lot better than the average bears
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
