i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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