btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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