Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
