So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
