Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
