You're so nebulous sometimes
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
