you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
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I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
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Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES