He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together