No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
time to smoke my breakfast
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Fuck me I smell like cheese