Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...

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(410): View more from Maryland

Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night

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(816): View more from Missouri

I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(415): View more from California

they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..

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(253): View more from Washington

The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.

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(727): View more from Florida

OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.

(240): View more from Maryland

Uh not that I recall.

(301): View more from Maryland

Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.

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