Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?

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  (813): you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you? http://tfl.nu/35zi
  Replies (12) Good night (2936) Bad night (1027)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated

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  (859): I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated http://tfl.nu/4ho0
  Replies (38) Good night (4332) Bad night (1289)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.

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  (419): Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life. http://tfl.nu/u73z
  Replies (36) Good night (4636) Bad night (915)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  When you wake up, I have rum and am in town

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  (519): When you wake up, I have rum and am in town http://tfl.nu/jlrs
  Replies (3) Good night (4675) Bad night (581)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook

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  (205): Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook http://tfl.nu/0mxm
  Replies (24) Good night (3858) Bad night (715)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.

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  (832): So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party. http://tfl.nu/a5ld
  Replies (33) Good night (11663) Bad night (3137)
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  (310): View more from California

  LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.

  (310): View more from California

  And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.

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  (310): LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers. (310): And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow. http://tfl.nu/mkft
  Replies (26) Good night (4233) Bad night (1305)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist

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  (901): so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist http://tfl.nu/ofkb
  Replies (12) Good night (5057) Bad night (1109)
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  (714): View more from California

  And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.

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  (714): And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless. http://tfl.nu/ni8k
  Replies (8) Good night (3154) Bad night (875)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted

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  (203): he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted http://tfl.nu/yf6w
  Replies (18) Good night (4474) Bad night (866)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.

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  (201): Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues. http://tfl.nu/ggrc
  Replies (11) Good night (1175) Bad night (2803)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday

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  (954): I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday http://tfl.nu/q72i
  Replies (10) Good night (1758) Bad night (638)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.

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  (970): The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch. http://tfl.nu/vgkc
  Replies (5) Good night (1323) Bad night (611)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker

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  (612): Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker http://tfl.nu/kwb8
  Replies (4) Good night (556) Bad night (918)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE

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  (407): SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE http://tfl.nu/zlef
  Replies (8) Good night (2119) Bad night (641)

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