i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
