Texts From Last Night

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I'll bet she douches with gravy.

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  (937): I'll bet she douches with gravy. http://tfl.nu/j4az
  Replies (6) Good night (670) Bad night (3166)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.

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  (479): he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that. http://tfl.nu/u07t
  Replies (65) Good night (654) Bad night (4115)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.

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  (850): hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored. http://tfl.nu/m1fl
  Replies (43) Good night (1053) Bad night (7860)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"

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  (786): All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber" http://tfl.nu/jvct
  Replies (49) Good night (9409) Bad night (1257)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.

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  (703): I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk. http://tfl.nu/xfwn
  Replies (8) Good night (708) Bad night (5516)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  i had confetti in my bra

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me

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  (210): i had confetti in my bra (1-210): i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me http://tfl.nu/08sl
  Replies (25) Good night (4076) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.

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  (772): He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days. http://tfl.nu/gr0g
  Replies (14) Good night (1583) Bad night (2335)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.

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  (610): He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick. http://tfl.nu/upxm
  Replies (5) Good night (979) Bad night (3574)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.

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  (219): No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone. http://tfl.nu/5xs9
  Replies (7) Good night (2051) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?

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  (512): I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die? http://tfl.nu/tzmv
  Replies (6) Good night (581) Bad night (1537)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!

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  (817): She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!! http://tfl.nu/esz2
  Replies (4) Good night (1357) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism

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  (616): There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism http://tfl.nu/r96o
  Replies (2) Good night (439) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.

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  (614): Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex. http://tfl.nu/9dkb
  Replies (0) Good night (436) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...

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  (801): I just used a thesaurus to write a sext... http://tfl.nu/q8a7
  Replies (2) Good night (942) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public

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  (412): College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public http://tfl.nu/5mhd
  Replies (2) Good night (235) Bad night (158)

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