I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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