buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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