Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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