Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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