Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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