It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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