i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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