I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
