he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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