Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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