Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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