piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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